Friday, 17 April 2015

O for Opening Lines

So, a writer friend of mine, someone I send occasional scribbles to for an opinion, told me that once I get into my writing it's fine but I always trip myself up on the opening lines.

As writers we are always told how all important those opening lines are. Book buyers read them after being drawn in by the blurb. So as the writer you don't want to lose the reader (miss a book sale even) if your opening lines didn't draw the reader in.
So today I'm having a poll. These are the opening lines of When Skies Are Grey. Please read them and have your say:


The evening air was cold on her cheeks when she left 4 St Ervan's Road and closed the front door. Along the pavement all she could hear was the echo of her heels. The curtains were shut in each of the terraced houses and the doors locked. The lampposts emitted a faint amber light and with every one she passed her head turned as she scanned the view over her shoulder. There wasn't a soul around, no-one coming towards her, nothing to confirm her fears. She was on her own.
Approaching the bridge at the end of the road, she pulled her thick coat that bit tighter at the collar and mounted the wooden steps. Like an explosion, a Metropolitan Line train thundered along the tracks below, and a chilled breeze circled her stockinged legs as she descended the steps on the other side. Just over the bridge was The Pelican Public House. From its frosted windows, lights filtered through onto the pavement in front.

Let me have your opinion. Would you want to read more? Do you think I can hook my readers in?

2 comments:

  1. It doesn't hook me. The writing is beautiful, and the details are strong, but I have no sense of the importance of any of the details to the character. Was she closing the door for the last time, or for what might be the last time? Why did she notice these details? If they have no meaning, who not start the story where the story starts?

    --I absolutely LOVE the quiet and the the thunder of the train! Very cinematic. :)

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  2. Strange as it may seem, this is the start of the story, Marian. Thanks for reading and commenting and it's a shame I didn't have you hooked. I'm relieved you did have some positives to add.

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