Behind. That's how I feel today folks! If there was an emoticon for that word then it would be a picture of me. And I'm not referring to my ample rear (somewhere between J Lo and Beyonce but not quite Nicki Minaj - is that thing real?).
It's the whole social networking thing that's got me beat. I could say I'm baffled, bamboozled even breathless and all of them would be true but the fact is I have been trying to keep up to date with my Twitter account but I can't help feeling I'm falling way behind everyone else.
Everyone seems to know jargon that I don't understand. They get hash tags and lists but I really have no clue what that's all about and how it will help me sell my book! And how did everyone get so many followers?
One of the things about social media the experts constantly say is that I have to use it or fall at the start line. I completely accept this but what those experts fail to understand is that there is a certain type of person who is several steps worse off than your average novice. One who finds it hard to elevate themselves beyond this clueless stage. I'm not a complete idiot but I have yet to find a guide book that doesn't assume I have any previous knowledge or that if I did, I would know how to use it. What I want is a book called Social Networking For People Who Need To Have Their Hand Held Every Step Of The Way And I Mean You Fran Clark! Now that's a book I would buy.
I know a lot of you will be reading this and thinking 'poor love, where has she been?' And I would answer, right here but I spend so much time trying to hone my skills as a singer/songwriter/ficiton writer that somehow I lost the plot and I just can't keep up with everyone.
I'm afraid of Tweetdeck because it sounds like something near water and I can't swim. I have no idea what Pinterest is unless it is something to do with a group of guys meeting for a drink on a Friday night.
As far as Social Networks go I've been told to start small. A blog and a Twitter account that's all I have right now. I will throw a party when I have 100 followers although I'm not really sure what I will be leading all these followers into.
I can waste hours on-line and would have achieved very little - I'm that slow. So please if you think there is any hope for me, let me know. In the meantime I must come off line, have a lie down and go back to my writing. You never know - just by becoming a really good writer, I might just sell a book or two... and I can hear you all saying not without social media you won't!